brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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