This is not my ceiling
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
