Heybabeimwearingurpanties
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
