Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen (703): i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid http://tfl.nu/ez4n
  Replies (8) Good night (1524) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  followup question: what if both somones were me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/? (610): followup question: what if both somones were me? http://tfl.nu/emdv
  Replies (18) Good night (969) Bad night (4853)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub
  Replies (12) Good night (8005) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter http://tfl.nu/gfmg
  Replies (10) Good night (4384) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me http://tfl.nu/0v3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1654) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9
  Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (2937)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things http://tfl.nu/xzcl
  Replies (2) Good night (1477) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I need moral support for this bender

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I need moral support for this bender http://tfl.nu/bzwm
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it. http://tfl.nu/knuw
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am. http://tfl.nu/ir0l
  Replies (19) Good night (900) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter. http://tfl.nu/rhw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1359) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early. (1-954): Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar. (954): I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am? (1-954): A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think http://tfl.nu/h7b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1497) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car http://tfl.nu/2mv3
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (980): What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone. http://tfl.nu/w2n9
  Replies (8) Good night (673) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town. http://tfl.nu/kget
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (143)

Randomize