Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/eq3b

Replies (27) Good night (1395) Bad night (9122)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was http://tfl.nu/zwm2

Replies (51) Good night (1105) Bad night (8961)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!" http://tfl.nu/3xo9

Replies (10) Good night (5312) Bad night (1205)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out. http://tfl.nu/a31o

Replies (12) Good night (5059) Bad night (894)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful. http://tfl.nu/p1yf

Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (2718)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad http://tfl.nu/1ob8

Replies (3) Good night (1850) Bad night (535)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/v2mo

Replies (8) Good night (1970) Bad night (880)
Favorite
(308): View more from Nebraska

And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(308): And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night? http://tfl.nu/df5d

Replies (7) Good night (2460) Bad night (766)
Favorite
(423): View more from Tennessee

and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(423): and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that http://tfl.nu/i7hu

Replies (10) Good night (996) Bad night (671)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet. http://tfl.nu/760v

Replies (3) Good night (1159) Bad night (410)
Favorite
(216): View more from Ohio

It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(216): It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing. http://tfl.nu/gc3o

Replies (2) Good night (1209) Bad night (491)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide. http://tfl.nu/28e3

Replies (8) Good night (488) Bad night (859)
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much

(702): View more from Nevada

you puked ON HER

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much (702): you puked ON HER http://tfl.nu/qqj0

Replies (7) Good night (451) Bad night (916)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0

(609): View more from New Jersey

GET HOME NOW

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Oh shit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0 (609): GET HOME NOW (1-609): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ad19

Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (400)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school. http://tfl.nu/sa5d

Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (228)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: