how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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