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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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• (212): View more from New York

  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

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• (585): View more from New York

  im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  dude its may

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Work with me here, man.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

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• (925): View more from California

  Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.

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• (909): View more from California

  I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Your shirt... Was in my pants

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