Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

(859): View more from Kentucky

i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

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(281): View more from Texas

Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me

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(702): View more from Nevada

Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I just put wine in my tea

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(989): View more from Michigan

You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together

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