Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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(785): View more from Kansas

We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.

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(408): View more from California

They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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(520): View more from Arizona

It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did

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(+61): View more from Australia

woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME

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(706): View more from Georgia

after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

(404): View more from Georgia

I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

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(408): View more from California

Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Good point.

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