Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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