I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.