Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
