you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
