I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once