Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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(201): i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around http://tfl.nu/2geo

Replies (23) Good night (1619) Bad night (2917)
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(212): View more from New York

yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"

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(212): yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer" http://tfl.nu/u5kx

Replies (9) Good night (7584) Bad night (1207)
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(214): View more from Texas

Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?

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(214): Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this? http://tfl.nu/6xbx

Replies (7) Good night (1770) Bad night (1102)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

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(317): Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex. http://tfl.nu/7i2a

Replies (15) Good night (1228) Bad night (4282)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me

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(504): open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me http://tfl.nu/k62l

Replies (1) Good night (2405) Bad night (1053)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.

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(734): Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke. http://tfl.nu/ywvx

Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (771)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.

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(724): I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober. http://tfl.nu/htfr

Replies (1) Good night (798) Bad night (385)
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(904): View more from Florida

They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!

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(904): They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??! http://tfl.nu/4zc8

Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (428)
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(330): View more from Ohio

So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.

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(330): So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days. http://tfl.nu/om2e

Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (435)
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(716): View more from New York

I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.

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(716): I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons. http://tfl.nu/ab56

Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (334)
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(315): View more from New York

Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.

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(315): Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure. http://tfl.nu/q5fs

Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (433)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.

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(864): Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation. http://tfl.nu/p5up

Replies (3) Good night (380) Bad night (438)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions

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(985): Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions http://tfl.nu/zlhz

Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (293)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is

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(856): we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is http://tfl.nu/1dmq

Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (169)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink

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(610): As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink http://tfl.nu/pij1

Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (168)

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