Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week