if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
