shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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