I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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