I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
