just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
