You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
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So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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