Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We named our party play list daddy issues
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
