Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Bring me that man meat
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
