Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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