have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
why does every cop we meet know your name?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
