Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
