i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
