matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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