I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
