I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
