Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
