For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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