The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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