Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
