we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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