is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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