smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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