The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
