I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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