i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
