I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
