we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i came on her dog
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
