see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
