dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nicole vs. Life
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
