my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
