I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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