Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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