this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
