maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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