From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
