Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
P.S. I can't hear my feet
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.