sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.