I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I smell stomach acid.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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