I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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