I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
