addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
