You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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