You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
