i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize