Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
