I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
