I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She's JV to your varsity
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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