I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
