he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
