It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
