3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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