Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you're 26.

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  (313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f
  Replies (10) Good night (1074) Bad night (2772)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.

  (360): View more from Washington

  You're getting good at this, you know that?

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  (206): Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number. (360): You're getting good at this, you know that? http://tfl.nu/w185
  Replies (17) Good night (7024) Bad night (746)
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  (315): View more from New York

  You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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  (315): You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you. http://tfl.nu/rrga
  Replies (16) Good night (6453) Bad night (720)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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  (304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o
  Replies (17) Good night (1267) Bad night (5800)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.

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  (917): I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex. http://tfl.nu/nr6p
  Replies (7) Good night (5472) Bad night (1309)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

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  (978): Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either. http://tfl.nu/z8zq
  Replies (25) Good night (1768) Bad night (3483)
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  (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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  (408): Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar? http://tfl.nu/xsyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1857) Bad night (798)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.

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  (918): I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims. http://tfl.nu/k6sh
  Replies (3) Good night (1851) Bad night (807)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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  (614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0
  Replies (16) Good night (4015) Bad night (701)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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  (703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4
  Replies (7) Good night (1156) Bad night (590)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie

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  (803): this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie http://tfl.nu/26xl
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (442)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick

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  (714): Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick http://tfl.nu/zf2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2493) Bad night (626)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....

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  (202): Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed.... http://tfl.nu/91um
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (412)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (863)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.

  (1+61): View more from

  Dude, you're not even gay.

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  (+61): I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that. (1+61): Dude, you're not even gay. http://tfl.nu/9cst
  Replies (5) Good night (1053) Bad night (449)

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