Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

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  (281): I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian. http://tfl.nu/ky2c
  Replies (51) Good night (3615) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i used baking grease as lip gloss

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  (978): i used baking grease as lip gloss http://tfl.nu/a8ny
  Replies (18) Good night (617) Bad night (5498)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.

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  (214): You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle. http://tfl.nu/y634
  Replies (14) Good night (4275) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party

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  (647): Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party http://tfl.nu/47pk
  Replies (33) Good night (12558) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.

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  (941): i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone. http://tfl.nu/fsw6
  Replies (18) Good night (1009) Bad night (3639)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.

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  (518): I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son. http://tfl.nu/kmmn
  Replies (5) Good night (4694) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

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  (+44): I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years. http://tfl.nu/naiq
  Replies (5) Good night (2977) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?

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  (740): Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed? http://tfl.nu/4keg
  Replies (12) Good night (2860) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me

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  (347): Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me http://tfl.nu/axou
  Replies (9) Good night (842) Bad night (1714)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.

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  (404): I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special. http://tfl.nu/228x
  Replies (3) Good night (1128) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue

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  (847): I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue http://tfl.nu/po5k
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt

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  (716): and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt http://tfl.nu/qzo4
  Replies (12) Good night (661) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So that wine I told you about is vile...

  (360): View more from Washington

  That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.

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  (425): So that wine I told you about is vile... (360): That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it? (425): Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something. http://tfl.nu/ggqv
  Replies (4) Good night (1160) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

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  (+44): He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis" http://tfl.nu/c89r
  Replies (4) Good night (406) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.

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  (417): I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana. http://tfl.nu/djzp
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (472)

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