at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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