she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night