when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize