Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight http://tfl.nu/aoch
  Replies (2) Good night (1490) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life. http://tfl.nu/6kb7
  Replies (8) Good night (4271) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm
  Replies (20) Good night (4092) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
  Replies (155) Good night (8224) Bad night (2701)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA". http://tfl.nu/ak7j
  Replies (9) Good night (3806) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (10134) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j
  Replies (81) Good night (10477) Bad night (3058)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops http://tfl.nu/nsjn
  Replies (5) Good night (798) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra. http://tfl.nu/w04v
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d
  Replies (9) Good night (1763) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh and I'm kind of in the library.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Oh and I'm kind of in the library. (757): Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move. http://tfl.nu/r83r
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped. http://tfl.nu/6z5g
  Replies (4) Good night (380) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly... http://tfl.nu/i1qk
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex http://tfl.nu/v5jg
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...? http://tfl.nu/tcmz
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (333)

Randomize