Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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(847): View more from Illinois

Why did you take off so early

(224): View more from Illinois

No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.

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(770): View more from Georgia

his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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(516): View more from New York

I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home

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