Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Don't forget I'm 20 now

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  I liked you more when you were 19

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  (586): Don't forget I'm 20 now (1-586): I liked you more when you were 19 http://tfl.nu/sj6s
  Replies (1) Good night (748) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.

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  (206): Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night. http://tfl.nu/k8do
  Replies (15) Good night (565) Bad night (1683)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I just didn't expect you to be so naked....

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  (909): I just didn't expect you to be so naked.... http://tfl.nu/rjbc
  Replies (7) Good night (3406) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...

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  (518): Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table... http://tfl.nu/njar
  Replies (9) Good night (3382) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.

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  (703): I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/26i6
  Replies (39) Good night (3825) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  define virginity.

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  (651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8
  Replies (17) Good night (5709) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

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  (913): We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer. http://tfl.nu/ud7u
  Replies (21) Good night (4314) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  he just came in and straightened the chair and left again

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  (905): he just came in and straightened the chair and left again http://tfl.nu/sy2j
  Replies (4) Good night (2453) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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  (484): someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again... http://tfl.nu/xp70
  Replies (3) Good night (2138) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab

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  (705): And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab http://tfl.nu/8keh
  Replies (9) Good night (1804) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused

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  (402): the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused http://tfl.nu/z0he
  Replies (7) Good night (2937) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me

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  (708): I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me http://tfl.nu/82r8
  Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!

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  (904): I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms! http://tfl.nu/g8iv
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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  (908): I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember? (610): Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead? http://tfl.nu/yv69
  Replies (12) Good night (1224) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Damnit.

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  (832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (287)

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