**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.