do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
