Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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  (865): Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand. http://tfl.nu/3nr4
  Replies (31) Good night (5076) Bad night (633)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

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  (514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in http://tfl.nu/gix0
  Replies (30) Good night (11599) Bad night (749)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app

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  (586): Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app http://tfl.nu/uu0s
  Replies (78) Good night (6049) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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  (717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl
  Replies (10) Good night (5013) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.

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  (339): just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth. http://tfl.nu/ap45
  Replies (38) Good night (8523) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

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  (310): It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations http://tfl.nu/cpf7
  Replies (19) Good night (8334) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous

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  (978): The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous http://tfl.nu/iens
  Replies (15) Good night (5336) Bad night (1273)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.

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  (954): Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers. http://tfl.nu/re05
  Replies (3) Good night (3636) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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  (717): i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego. http://tfl.nu/vgwh
  Replies (20) Good night (4636) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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  (425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1029) Bad night (3232)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

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  (856): I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog. http://tfl.nu/f78e
  Replies (5) Good night (2308) Bad night (809)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.

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  (503): I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too. http://tfl.nu/alyx
  Replies (5) Good night (2300) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.

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  (702): Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament. http://tfl.nu/k9l6
  Replies (8) Good night (1487) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here

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  (210): It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here http://tfl.nu/0r3z
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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  (563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (260)

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