My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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