After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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