he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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