Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
