I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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