butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
