if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
