i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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