I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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