Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
