Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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