he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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